Break Free From Depression Helplessness

2006-07-12T20:21:00.000-04:00

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Break Free From Depression Helplessness

- by Chris Green

(c) Chris Green - All Rights reserved
http://www.conqueringstress.com
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I recently posted an article to my website about how certain
beliefs underpin stress, depression and anxiety. One of the
main beliefs I briefly introduced concerns helplessness.
Helplessness is a major part of these illnesses so let's
look at how you can reduce the impact this flawed belief
has.

Believing you are helpless in life is a truly terrible
feeling and I write from personal experience here. For five
years, a number of traumatic events led me to the point
where I believed life held nothing but pain and anguish. I
truly believed life would unfold in a way that would destroy
me and there wasn't a single thing I could do about it.

Perhaps you've felt this way too?

The underlying belief is the important factor here. It is a
firm belief that life is something that happens to you and
you have NO CONTROL over anything. In short, you are a
powerless, passive recipient for whatever life decides to
throw at you.

It is an awful state to be in. Furthermore, this belief
simply isn't true.

Let me give an example. Say you and your partner split up.
Now, this can be one very traumatic experience, I've been
through it, so have many others. You react in a highly
negative and emotionally arousing way:

"I'm devastated. He/she was my whole world and now my world
has fallen apart. Everything I do in life always goes wrong
and this is another disaster. I'll never be happy again."

Wow. It's a powerful reaction isn't it? I'm sure you, like
me, have either reacted this way to an event or you've heard
someone react this way. It is a very damaging way to assign
a meaning to an event you are confronted with.

The last two sentences reveal the belief in helplessness.
The key words are: Everything always goes wrong and never be
happy again. When you react in such a way, you are telling
yourself that you are helpless because nothing has ever gone
right for you and you'll never be happy no matter what.
You're saying you cannot control anything and therefore, you
truly believe you're helpless.

How do you think you'll feel when you react like this?
Exactly. You'll feel deeply unhappy, confused, frustrated
and of course, helpless to change your life. Why would you
feel anything else? Everything ALWAYS goes wrong and you'll
NEVER be happy again so what's the point of doing anything
to create change?

Do you see how helplessness works? But it simply isn't true.
Of course, there are many things in life that are entirely
beyond your control. Other people and Mother Nature to name
but two. There are things in life you have some control over
- where you live and work for example. It is important to
keep these facts about control firmly in mind.

Here's the most important fact about helplessness: There is
one thing you have full control over in your life and that
is how you react and assign meanings to everything you are
confronted with. In the example above, a better reaction
would be:

"OK, my relationship hasn't worked but other things in my
life are going well and I'll concentrate on them for a while
as I come to terms with what's happened. Just because this
relationship hasn't worked out, it doesn't mean future
relationships will fail and once I've got over this, I'll
get out there and find someone better."

See the difference? You're keeping control by assigning a
less emotional meaning, a meaning more in keeping with
reality. You're acknowledging that you're hurting, but that
this is temporary and when you're ready, you'll try again.
You know you have other things in your life that you can
concentrate on and this reaction will prevent a feeling of
helplessness arising.

See you soon.

Former anxiety sufferer Chris Green is the author of
"Conquering Stress", the internationally acclaimed program
which will help you to permanently conquer stress,
depression and anxiety without taking powerful drugs. For a
free mini course, please click here =>
http://www.conqueringstress.com

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Looking to beat stress, anxiety or depression QUICKLY?
"Conquering Stress" reveals the powerful, effective
secrets so you can beat these illnesses once and for all
DRUG FREE! Click Here==>http://www.conqueringstress.com
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Article Used By Permission. All Rights Reserved.
Break Free From Depression Helplessness

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Break Free from Depression Helplessness

Break Free From Depression Helplessness